It’s hard enough having a friend in your head saying that what you do, want and say are stupid, but to have a good portion of the people you know say it too, really doesn’t help. All too often when im trying to talk myself back into things I find every other thing that wants me to spill my feelings out. To that I say why? What is the use of it all if what would happen is probably the worse thing ever.
At least to me.
How can i possible tell them that what was set in motion suddenly isn’t working for me. That not only do I struggle to do it, but I’m unhappy with it now.
Oh right, happiness doesn't count yet.
When the years have passed and i’m finally in some position, then my happiness will count. Can I have a timetable? Can I wait till then?
Sometimes I get sick because I know what I want, and I know what I don’t want. It’s the thing I’ve never been able to speak about because it is the worse thing ever.
Is that what I’m going to be remember by? The worst thing ever? Great.