It’s hard to find the time to write when someone is constantly trying to undermine everything you’re doing. They’ve even gotten into my brain so when I’m by myself, they are still reprimanding me for things. I know that they aren’t really there but I can’t seem to snap out of it. It’s truly a self-inflicted curse, which shouldn’t be surprising since I’m torturting myself in a field I’ve learned to hate. Honestly, any medical people out there,
It’s so weird to vent like this because in the moment they are making me feel like utter trash and incompetent, the next they might be my biggest fan. To put that in perspective, it’s like reading a character (or writing one!) that in one chapter is trying to kill your protagonist and then in the next, helping them out in the most out-of-character way imaginable. Now, in that context, how would you perceive them -with no other identification other than the previous sentence?
Maybe it’s my notion of skepticism that I’ve developed while at my part-time job or my pessimism I’ve developed because of this person, but I’ve learned not to take what they say with much more of a grain of salt. Sadly I can’t say for the rest of my clan who is undoubtedly submissive to not only this person’s emotional swings, but their actions as well.
I want to be the person to help them, but I wasn’t made like that. As much as I don’t fit into Their agenda, I don’t fit into anyone else’s either. Enjoy some music while I go to work. Just keep in mind to be your own fan. Everyone else will fill the challenge role.