Why do I have this sinking feeling? I wake up to my alarm only to hit snooze. completely aware that over-sleeping doesn’t help me one bit. I toss over and try to pretend I don’t know it’s morning.
Trying to pretend the day isn’t here. On those days, when I do get out of bed, everything hurts and every step makes me sick. My hair might as well be sticks on those days ad my face breaks and dries itself out.
It’s hard to smile at people. When people see me on those days, they don’t know how conscious I am smiling back. Every muscle pull and relaxation is present in my brain and I loathe every moment of it. I just want to hide in a dark corner and never be found. Writing is impossible in those days, every word might as well burn the second it gets on the pages.
It is bad that I want to curl up in a ball and be forgotten?
Is it bad that I don’t have the energy to fight it; That at some points it’s a peaceful mess I’ve grown to accept?
Even when I do get that sudden burst of courage to fight it, it feels like a worthless attempt.
Or maybe that’s how I feel.
Only lasts a day but it feels like an eternity every time.