People, just like your families-

We don’t want to see you either. Like go home, please! It’s twelve for satan’s sake! GO. AWAY.

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Don’t sniff the Damn Chemicals

As a D&D adventure and a rogue player, I can be the epitome of chaos and doing stuff the DM didn’t think they would have to worry about. Like having a character making a death save because I egged them to eat a part of a deadly mushroom we had to deliver to a noble. Or like when the whole part of the mission was to save someone’s life, only for PVP to be turned on and the table to suddenly destroy the adventure plot.

#NoRegerts

But a while back me and a friend who was a DM made our own campaign which we still work on . . . periodically. I was working on mine recently and found a fun part which I remebered adding just because players like myself would exsist and be like:

We are in a strange facility, hearing weird noises and just found a closet filled with heavy duty cleaning agents strong enough to clean up crime scenes.

. . . Can I drink the chemicals?


Sugar cookie in shape of an elder god, yes!

You might think I’m joking but I’m not. Things tend to happen in D&D that most don’t realiaze is unscripted, like doing the conga while a flock of murderous bird cult members try to kill you.

BECAUSE WHY THE FRICK_FRACK_SHOVE_A_TICK_TACK SHOULDN’T IT HAPPEN?

So, in response, I decided to add this little table. It’s real fun.

IF FOR ANY DUMB REASON, a character pops one open a bottle (it’s easy) and sniffs it, make them roll a d4.
1 – Deafened – They hear a sharp siren in their ears and they can’t hear anything for an hour.
2 – Petrified – A single sniff is all that it took for the chemical to stone the person from the inside out, starting with the heart. Unless the party has water to pour, there is nothing that character can do. They are stuck there, and the DM will usher the party to go on suggesting that the player will be back but not until the next encounter. (88*****88).
If they do have water and pour on them, they will come back to life with a clause. Within the first three encounters,  there is a chance they will become paralyzed for a minute. 50/50. DM decides before PC rolls a percentile which 50 is good and which isn’t.
3 – Frightened/ Paranoid – Unknown voices plague the character and the next time they have battle they have disadvantage for attack rolls and ability checks.
4 – Blinded – Who told them to look inside of it. Now they need someone to guide them until the next battle, their eyes white as stars in the night sky. At that battle, they have an initiative of zero and will go last. Then their eyesight will be restored.

Poor DMs. I love trying to break their
games. XD

In D&D, everyone truely wins, unless DM breaks. Then almost everyone wins, but that’s okay. The DM’s usually are out for blood. XD

Have fun Playing!

My First Time DMing

DMing for the first time

DMing, is hard. I knew this even before signing up. It’s a known fact that running a table-top rpg like Dungeons and Dragons is hard, especially when you’re only friends with maybe half of the room. When I say room, I mean a restaurant’s room we rented out.for everyone. Usually we have about four tables during our slow nights and the other week they sent out a text looking for some more DMS. I, being half asleep and at work, responded since I have been mulling it in my mind for a bit. They accepted with much exclamation. (!!)

We tried to spare the frogs, even help. But in the end
they were desecrated for their insubordination.

It didn’t really set in until my two friends started to talk about it maybe an hour before at our school. (We hung out beforehand because ONE of us has class) Suddenly I was sooo nervous, looking at my highlighted and color-coordinated notes of the adventure and thinking “it’s not enough!”

It was. It was just enough.

Just casually fighting in a marsh. Damn water deities.

DMing went fine. Sure I mixed up the story a bit and had to fix it, but I write and have to do that all the time. The monsters’ attacks I messed up because I had TWO barbarians that when raging (HARD) their damage is different. Oh! And in Part two I saw a note about something they should have gotten by then, and had to very much improvise.

It all went well! I swear! The players didn’t notice and neither did the two DMs watching me. (One at my table playing and one casually checking on me) So either I was really lucky or I actually did good. I’ll believe either. Still, I can’t wait to DM again, though it will maybe twice a week on the lower count days. I’ll be happy either way.

SideNote: The soups at the restaurant is really nice. I always get one.

Pros and Cons of working like a Vampire

Sleeping in is a natural occurrence for me, but my family would sometimes look at me as I slept comfortable for, well, forever. Why get up? Well now I have a perfect reason to settle any whispering around me.

Overnights.

Yep! I got an overnight position at my local grocery store and it has been a huge improvement in my life. But what goes up must come down and by down I mean being supported by your cap’s lid as you doze off for an hour amist the shift.. Yep!

Pros? I don’t have to deal with rude customers who think they can bully us into doing what they want. Ever. I also don’t have to worry about rushing about when corporate overloads us because “you can handle it” *click*

Cons? I have done a complete 180 for my sleep cycle and have been such a ride. My eyes hurt when they closed. My temper flared when things went differently in the morning. My patience for people have shortened

My parent is a bit worried about me and have been keeping a real hard look at me. With love of course. He makes sure he sees me sleeping (because sometimes I’m too awake and stay up) and makes sure I am eating correctly. Making meals is always fun for him because then leftovers are separated into little meals for me. Ultimate assurance I have food with me, which as a food junkie I can’t complain.

Overnights, it’s really a interesting and calming. Especially when I see that there is 47 order hours set up and only 27 scheduled work hours for that day. It makes me feel better with the whole deal.

Reader’s Critique: Lucifer

I love the show Lucifer. It makes me laugh, makes me feel in ways I didn’t want to.

But among it’s brilliance, one thing bugs me. Lucifer himself in the Cain storyline in season two. All he does is complain that his father doesn’t listen to him, and yet watches all and is the person behind everything. Still, then he is constantly calls his dad’s attention right before doing something dickish. Like when he was going to hell to grab Abel’s soul and bring it back. Yeah, Cain and Abel.

So, he makes a big deal that it will make his dad furious and then right before he flies real fast to grab the soul, he calls for his dad. That’s like me calling for my mother before breaking the pyrex (China glassware) right in front of her.

He’s a big boy and yet he constantly does this. I get it though. It suppose to prove him wrong in the sense as, “No god is listening to you” stick but still! It’s humorous and it makes me furious at the same time, but that’s the devil for ya.I just want him to learn, is that so much to ask for?  

Yes. Yes I do and I still want it!


Merry Christmas! We All Made It!

If that sounded sarcastic, it wasn’t. I am truly happy that everyone came out from this holiday safe and sound. Working from the standpoint of an employee running in a food market, I can honestly say I was a little close towards sacrificing a kid to Krampus. But I didn’t, aren’t ya proud?

But after all of the time spent with the fam, liking it or not, it’s nice to be on the other side and gleefully say, its now 365 days away. I know I sound a bit anti-christmas

I know…

I know.

I am. But this year we got to see Sanulhu (Santa Cthulhu) at my D&D place so it was worth it. He even gave us sugar cookies! They are adorable!

So in the end it was totally worth it, getting a woman thrown out with her chocolate lab. And telling a kid to shut it with the screaming because their parents like to use the method “If I ignore them, they’ll stop eventually”. And getting eggnog-filled drivers on the road to my job every night. Yep.

I need a few more chocolate chip cookies. Merry Christmas! Stories are going to be delayed so I can also bang pots and scream for New Years Eve. Staying up is now longer a fun thing for me, just a thing I naturally do now.

See you in the new year!

Cookie Eating GIF by SpongeBob SquarePants


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